My Last Goodbye
by ele05gs
Summary: "I won't keep waiting my life in this, it's useless," I whispered. "It's over, it was never meant to be… it was a lie," I said against his angry face. We all deserve new beginnings. A/H, A/U, OOC. M rated for lenguage.


**Disclaimer: **SM owns the Twilight world, no copyright infringement intended.

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**A/N: Hello dear readers! **

**It's been a while I don't post anything, I know and I'm sorry. (If you're reading **_If It Kills Me_**, I'll tell you I'll be updating soon! ****) **

**Here you have another one-shot. It was written for the_ Fics for Nashville_ event. I'd like to thank everyone that helped with the cause, whether if it was by donating or writing, know that we helped a lot of people and that's something to be proud of.**

**Thank you to the betas _Christine (JointGifts) _and _Lauren (HopingForLove) _for the help!**

**Now, Enjoy.**

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**_My Last Goodbye_**

_I've got to walk away while there's still hope_  
_ Learn to erase the love I know_  
_ And let you go_  
_ 'Cause what I thought was love was only lies_  
_ Taking what you want, left me behind_  
_ As my heart dies_

_So here we are again_  
_ Knowing this will never end_  
_ So I must let go_

_This is my last goodbye_  
_ Leaving all the memories of you behind_  
_ I will not wait here_  
_ And waste my whole life_  
_ Waste my whole life_

_I can see you now with opened eyes_  
_ When you come around I realize_  
_ That I don't need you to survive_

_I will not begin_  
_ The fight that we could never end_  
_ So I am letting go_

_This is my last goodbye_  
_ Leaving all the memories of you behind_  
_ I will not wait here_  
_ And waste my whole life_  
_ Waste my whole life..._

_My passion, my poison_  
_ The life and death of me_  
_ I can't take you taking everything_  
_ From a love never meant to be_

_This is my last goodbye_  
_ Leaving all the memories of you behind_  
_ I will not wait here_  
_ And waste my whole life_

_This is my last goodbye_  
_ This will be my final tear for love to die_  
_ I will not wait here_  
_ And waste my whole life_  
_ With my last goodbye_

_My last Goodbye - Trading Yesterday

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**Bella's POV**

"Bella, you can't keep this up anymore," Alice said through the phone.

"I know, Alice. I've been thinking a lot about it lately," I whispered, feeling a bit sad.

"Bella listen to me, please," she pleaded. "Why don't you come and stay with me until you find a nice place to stay?" she asked hopefully.

"I… I still don't know, Alice," I complained. Making her excited was never a good thing, least of all when I was bound to disappoint her.

"I know you will come," she said confidently. "There's this house next to mine that's for sale, I will talk to my neighbor and say you're interested."

"But Alice, I'm not sure yet. I don't know if I can do this… and what if your neighbor needs the money urgently?" I tried to reason with her as her excitement was clear in her voice.

"I don't care; he has money I know it," she said. "If you don't want it, then I'll buy it for myself. It's an amazing house, Bella… besides, it's next to mine!" she squealed happily.

I had to giggle a little at that. "Sure, Alice, I-I will see how things go and I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, Bella, but remember this can't keep going on. You know that," she said.

"Yes, I know," I sighed. "I'll call you, Alice. Bye." After I heard her goodbye, I hung up.

Sighing heavily, I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I had a lot to think about, but somehow deep down I already knew what I had to do. Alice was right, I couldn't keep things up anymore; I already knew that. I had to go while there was still time.

Only now I realized that, after all those years, getting into this life was a mistake for me; I needed my own life back. I had dreams to fulfill and I knew that they would only come true if I left _him_ and moved in with Alice.

I could very well buy her neighbor's house; she knew that, which is probably why she mentioned it in the first place. I had the money from my parents inheritance, the money they left me when they were… _died_. They had been killed in a car accident ten years ago, and while I was only a thirteen years old, I knew how to take care of myself.

Nothing would make the pain of their loss lessen. I probably wouldn't have survived if it weren't for Jacob and his family, because, despite it all, I needed something to cling to; Someone who could give me the hope that everything would be okay someday.

That person was Jacob; he was only two years younger than me, but he was mature for his age as he'd had to take care of his dad since he was a child. He was the rock I needed; the support that stopped me from falling.

He soon became everything to me he was all I had left.

When our relationship started; I was fifteen when he first kissed me and he's been all I've known ever since.

The loss of my parents, and the fact that I spent the most crucial years of my life without them, changed me forever. So when our relationship turned into something else, I knew what I had to do.

He was everything I knew, the only kind of love I knew (apart from the love of my parents). I thought I was ready for that kind of life, ready to live with him, and how could I not? I was naïve; I knew nothing about it. It turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.

With the years, people change… or just show their real selves; that's what happened to Jake. It wasn't until I decided I wanted to move on with my life that I realized he was not the man I thought I had been in love with.

_"You know, Jake, I've been thinking and I want to go to college or something. I'm twenty already; I need to do something with my life," I said. "I want to be a cook, like my Mom." I whispered as the memory of my Mom brought tears to my eyes. I stared right into his eyes, waiting for his reply._

_He laughed._

_I watched silently as he doubled in laughter, his body shaking forcefully._

_My frown only deepened with each passing second, my confusion becoming anger. "What the fuck, Jacob? Why are you laughing?" I asked angrily._

_"So-sorry," he said, trying to catch his breath. "You're not serious, right?"_

_"I am dead serious, what's wrong with you?" I asked, my voice ice cold._

_"Come on, Bella, that's bullshit! That's not a real job, and besides you don't have you work. I will work, that's what we –men– do. You _won't_ work," he finished, his voice raising._

_"Are you fucking shitting me?" I spat, my anger growing by the moment._

_"Bella, this discussion is over. You will _not _work, period," he declared as he turned around and walked out of the bedroom._

The anger I had felt in that moment could not be compared to anything I had ever felt before. After that day two years ago, things were never the same.

It had been like I couldn't leave the house. _"No, Bella, you can't do that." _It was always the same; I couldn't do _this_, I couldn't do _that_. I was like a prisoner in my own house.

Jacob was not the carefree guy I had met when I was thirteen, he was not that funny guy that had helped me through the worst years of my life. He had become a completely different person; he was bossy, self-absorbed and selfish.

I should have left that same day two years ago, but I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough to survive on my own; I needed him because he was all I had left.

Now though, I had come to realize it was all a lie, a big fat lie. His was the only form of love I knew, so I let things happen. I tried my best to ignore his transgression; every time he would just lash out at me for nothing in particular I would ignore it, for my sake and for his sake.

That's how I found myself talking to Alice; she was the only friend I had left. She always knew what to do and she always gave me the right advice.

She repeatedly told me that I should leave. That I couldn't let him do what he did to me. That I couldn't permit him to see me as something of no importance. She was right.

I could feel my resolve solidifying as I got up from the bed and started searching through my drawers to see what I would need to take if I were to leave.

When Jacob arrived home from work, he found me on the bed with a pile of clothes surrounding me.

"What are you doing?" he asked sternly, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I'm just arranging my drawers, they were a mess," I replied, praying he wouldn't see through my lie.

He mattered under his breath and went into the bathroom to take his usual shower. I silently went to the closet and hid the suitcases in a corner, covering them with more clothes just in case he saw them.

The next morning when Jake got up, he eyed me silently for a long time, his black eyes boring into mine and making me incredibly uneasy and nervous.

_Does he know?_ I questioned myself.

The second I heard his car leave the driveway, I peeked through the window until I couldn't see it anymore. Without hesitation, I ran towards the closet and started packing everything I owned.

In two hours I had everything done and was already calling Alice.

"Bella?" She answered on the second ring.

"Yeah, Alice, it's me," I replied. "I… I'm going," I barely whispered.

"What?" she asked confused.

I cleared my throat and repeated, "I'm going. I've packed everything. I'm ready."

She squealed loudly in my ear, making me cringe in pain. "God, Alice," I complained. "Are you trying to make me deaf?"

"Sorry," she giggled. "That is just awesome," she squealed again. "I already talked to my neighbor, and he said that there's no problem and he'd wait to see if you wanted the house."

"That's good. I-I will call a cab and head to the airport. My plane leaves in two hours," I said, checking my watch. "I should arrive in Seattle in a few hours."

"Great! I'll be there waiting for you," she said excitedly. "Um… Bella? Will you wait for him? Tell him you're leaving?" she asked hesitantly.

"No, I won't, Alice. He eyed me oddly this morning. I think he knows and I don't want to see his reaction," I said, shaking my head.

"Okay, but be careful either way, okay? And call me once you get to the airport."

"Alice, stop worrying, everything will be okay… I'll call you," I said. After we said our goodbyes, I hung up and called the cab.

I was finishing getting everything inside the cab when I heard the familiar roar of a car in the distance.

I grimaced.

"Bella, what the fuck are you doing?" Jacob shouted as he started getting out of his barely parked car.

"I'm leaving, Jacob," I said seriously.

"Where the fuck are you going?" He was seething.

"I'm tired of this shit, Jacob. It's over, I'm done."

"What are you talking about? I love you," he said, his voice softer as he walked closer to me, watching my every move intently.

"I-this was over a long time ago, Jake, don't make it more difficult than it already is," I pleaded.

"It looks fucking easy for you! You were leaving without talking to me? What did you think I would do? You. Are. Not. Going. Anywhere," he said pointedly, his voice cold.

"Jake, it just wasn't meant to be… I'm sorry."

"You are sorry? You're fucking sorry?" he asked, his breath hot against my face. "Don't bullshit me, Bella. After everything I gave you, this is how you pay me? By leaving?"

"I- Jake," I whispered. "Jake this wasn't working, we both know it. It was good while it lasted-" He cut me off by grabbing my arm forcefully and pulling me close to his body.

"Don't say that shit, Bella," he said, his voice a bare whisper but menacing. "You can't leave me, you are mine."

"Jacob, let me go," I whined. "You're hurting me."

"Say you won't go, say it!" he urged me.

"Jacob, let go!" I screamed in pain as his hold on my arm only tightened.

"Sir, I suggest you let the lady go," a deep male voice said behind us.

I looked back to see the taxi driver standing there, staring right into Jacob's eyes, his expression serious. He was a very big man, probably bigger than Jacob.

"If you don't, I will call the cops," he warned, making a move as if grabbing his cell phone.

Jacob let go of my arm and took a stop back. His face was pure rage, and he was staring right at me, his nose wrinkled as if in disgust.

I shook my head sadly before saying, "This should stop, Jacob, it's hurting us both… goodbye." Those were my last words before I climbed in the cab and left.

I looked back for a fraction of a second and it was enough for me to see him standing there, frozen. I could swear I saw a tear roll down his cheek, just as I felt my own tears running.

"Thank you," I whispered to the taxi driver once I turned back to the front.

He looked back at me and smiled slightly. "Where to?" he asked.

"The airport."

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**Author's Note: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! **

**This one shot will have a sequel! :D I'm working on it, but I've decided to post it when I it all done, so that might take a while, just know it will be here... some day :p If you'd like to read it keep me on your alerts and you'll be hearing from me! **

**Now leave me review! :)  
**


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